That’s a really important question. The role and status of parents in Islam is exceptionally high, and it’s a central theme in both the Quran and the teachings of the Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him).
In short, Islam places the duty of kindness, respect, and obedience to parents second only to the worship of God (Allah) Himself.
The duty towards the father in Islam is immense, second only to the duty towards the mother, but it shares the same core principles of kindness, respect, and obedience.
While the mother is emphasized three times more for the hardship of carrying and raising the child, the father holds a unique and highly respected position as the head of the family, the provider, and the moral guide.
Honouring Parents is Second Only to Worship
Several verses in the Quran link the command to worship God alone with the command to treat parents with goodness, which demonstrates the immense significance of this relationship.
- A Key Verse: “Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honour.” (Quran, 17:23)
- The prohibition on saying even the smallest word of disrespect—like “uff” or “fie”—is often highlighted as a measure of the extreme care one must take when dealing with them.
Core Principles: Respect and Obedience.
These duties are common to both parents, but they are crucial for the father’s role as the family leader.
Here’s a breakdown of the specific duties toward one’s father:
Just as with the mother, you must never use disrespectful language toward your father. The Quran forbids saying even a minor word of annoyance like "uff" (or "fie") and commands you to speak to them with "a noble word" (Quran 17:23).
You must obey your father in all matters unless his command involves disobedience to God (Allah) or is genuinely harmful to you. Even if he commands you to associate partners with God (which is forbidden), you must still treat him kindly in this world while gently refusing the act of disobedience.
The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said: "The father is the middle of the gates of Paradise, so keep to this gate or lose it." (Sunan al-Tirmidhī), highlighting that one's relationship with their father is a key to salvation.
Treat them with a sincere sense of humility, remembering their sacrifices in raising you.
Always address them with respectful, dignified, and kind words, especially as they age.
Fulfill their needs, especially in their old age, offering financial, emotional, and physical support.
Obey their commands and requests as long as they do not involve disobeying God (e.g., asking you to commit a sin or to worship idols). The duty to God always takes precedence, but even in disagreement, kindness and respect must be maintained.
Constantly supplicate (make du'a) to God for their forgiveness and mercy, both while they are alive and after their death, using the Qur'anic invocation: "My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood." (Qur'an 17:24).
Even if a parent pressures you to leave Islam or commit a sin, the Qur'an (31:15) instructs you to disobey the command but remain kind to them. You must politely decline the sinful request while continuing to serve them and treat them with mercy.
Scholars generally agree that a child is not religiously obligated to obey commands that are purely harmful, irrational, or interfere with their basic rights (like forcing a marriage or preventing a child from seeking necessary medical treatment).
After they pass away, the duty continues by praying for them, fulfilling any outstanding promises or debts they may have had, and respecting their relatives and friends.
Giving charity on their behalf, such as building a well, supporting an orphan, or donating to a mosque.
Paying off any debts they owed to people or fulfilling religious vows they made (like a missed Hajj or fasts).
One of the highest forms of honoring deceased parents is to stay in touch with their friends and relatives.16 The Prophet (17$\text{PBUH}$) said: "The best act of righteousness is that a man should maintain good relations with the loved ones of his father." (Muslim
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